Today, at church, my 9 year olds and I talked about David & Goliath. We talked about how our troubles and trials can be called our "Goliaths" but with God's help we can become stronger and overcome them whatever they are. This got me to thinking....
One of the symptoms of Parkinson's progression is hallucinations. A couple of weeks ago my dad told Terri she needed to go check on her kids. Apparently they had a bird on the end of a rope and was swinging it around trying to kill it. Well, this was rather bizarre and Terri said she could tell Dad was aware that it was as he said it but wanted her to check anyway. She did. All three kids were riding their bikes in the driveway.
I took Dad to an eye appointment last week and it wore him out enough that we decided to come back another day for his glasses. The appointed time would be 9am on Monday. I got home from church today and there was a message for me to call him immediately about a doctor's appointment that suddenly came up. He had mentioned to Terri that Rick was going to pick him up at 7:30 for the appointment. When I called he reminded me (for the 3rd time) about the appointment to get his glasses. He totally didn't have any idea about Rick picking him up for anything.
He's not very stable on his feet. He's fallen twice in the last couple of weeks. Once, I was present when he went down. It was almost comical because as frail as he is he jumped up so fast I hardly had time to reach him. Once in a while he surprises us! I took him to the hospital last week for an echo-cardiogram. The doctor was concerned about a heart murmur. That trip just about did him in. From now on I'll go in and get a wheelchair before he gets out of the car. We're not sure why they wanted that test done. There's nothing to be gained one way or the other.
Probably the saddest thing I've dealt with so far was a week or so ago he called me at 6:30 am to let me know he had taken his morning meds. Ok, I said, that's a good thing. Then in a rather weak voice he said, "Well, I'm just not sure what to do next". I told him to enjoy the peace and quiet because the kids would be up soon and try not to call anyone for at least a couple of hours because it was so early.
These things, as they occur, are sometimes distressing and heart wrenching. It's so hard to watch someone who has always been a rock to everyone around him deteriorate. What's worse is he sees his deterioration and feels so helpless. A while back he said he felt so irrelevant because everything he did had to be done at the inconvenience of others. There is nothing I can say to let him know that we all love him and will do whatever is necessary to help him. We do our best to tell him this but it needs to be repeated often.
I look at the world around me and realize things could be so much worse, in so many different ways, and that I have been very blessed. I have a wonderful family, great support, and a Heavenly Father who always looks after me and gives me the confidence to greet each new day with 'Well, what's in store for me today?'
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