Today, at church, my 9 year olds and I talked about David & Goliath. We talked about how our troubles and trials can be called our "Goliaths" but with God's help we can become stronger and overcome them whatever they are. This got me to thinking....
One of the symptoms of Parkinson's progression is hallucinations. A couple of weeks ago my dad told Terri she needed to go check on her kids. Apparently they had a bird on the end of a rope and was swinging it around trying to kill it. Well, this was rather bizarre and Terri said she could tell Dad was aware that it was as he said it but wanted her to check anyway. She did. All three kids were riding their bikes in the driveway.
I took Dad to an eye appointment last week and it wore him out enough that we decided to come back another day for his glasses. The appointed time would be 9am on Monday. I got home from church today and there was a message for me to call him immediately about a doctor's appointment that suddenly came up. He had mentioned to Terri that Rick was going to pick him up at 7:30 for the appointment. When I called he reminded me (for the 3rd time) about the appointment to get his glasses. He totally didn't have any idea about Rick picking him up for anything.
He's not very stable on his feet. He's fallen twice in the last couple of weeks. Once, I was present when he went down. It was almost comical because as frail as he is he jumped up so fast I hardly had time to reach him. Once in a while he surprises us! I took him to the hospital last week for an echo-cardiogram. The doctor was concerned about a heart murmur. That trip just about did him in. From now on I'll go in and get a wheelchair before he gets out of the car. We're not sure why they wanted that test done. There's nothing to be gained one way or the other.
Probably the saddest thing I've dealt with so far was a week or so ago he called me at 6:30 am to let me know he had taken his morning meds. Ok, I said, that's a good thing. Then in a rather weak voice he said, "Well, I'm just not sure what to do next". I told him to enjoy the peace and quiet because the kids would be up soon and try not to call anyone for at least a couple of hours because it was so early.
These things, as they occur, are sometimes distressing and heart wrenching. It's so hard to watch someone who has always been a rock to everyone around him deteriorate. What's worse is he sees his deterioration and feels so helpless. A while back he said he felt so irrelevant because everything he did had to be done at the inconvenience of others. There is nothing I can say to let him know that we all love him and will do whatever is necessary to help him. We do our best to tell him this but it needs to be repeated often.
I look at the world around me and realize things could be so much worse, in so many different ways, and that I have been very blessed. I have a wonderful family, great support, and a Heavenly Father who always looks after me and gives me the confidence to greet each new day with 'Well, what's in store for me today?'
Sunday, July 27, 2014
Monday, May 19, 2014
The Telephone can be a dangerous thing...
Since my last post several things have transpired. First, Dad's bum sore is back. This time we caught it before it got infected or anything so it's not as bad as before. Terri has had to step up and help Mom with the changing of the bandages. She sees more of her grandpa than she ever thought she would but she's doing a great job.
Dad fell again Saturday but by the time we got to him he had jumped up and seemed to be fine. He was grinning which was a good sign. Last time he fell he was totally unresponsive for the rest of the day and into the evening. We think he probably had a TIA or something as a stroke was ruled out by paramedics at the time.
The kitchen remodel is due to start in a couple of weeks. Did I mention that before? Their house has no dishwasher, custom cabinets that are not very efficient, and some other cabinets where the counter top isn't even attached. The idea is to get rid of the bar area and create an island to open up the space. More efficient cabinets will be installed and the doorway into the kitchen from the family room moved and/or enlarged. The miss-matched cabinets will be gone as well. Terri can hardly wait for the dishwasher!
Dad called today. Actually, he often calls several times a day. Apparently he had tried to call Rite Aid to follow-up on a prescription. Well, there isn't one there. I explained how Mom's prescriptions were being handled by a mail service and he didn't have anything pending. "What made you think there was something to follow-up on?", I asked. "I don't know" was the response. He'll ask me to call someone because he's afraid he won't be able to track the conversation, but then he'll call the bank (or whomever) to let them know I'll be calling. He was never a micro-manager before but it gets real bad sometimes. I sometimes have to call someone to make sure we're all on the same page because he's called them and doesn't know/remember what the deal was. He's never happy that something is being handled properly and he's very skeptical of anyone's motives. It's sad and frustrating at the same time. On a funny note...Terri sometimes has to tell him that if he wants to make a phone call the remote won't work!
Dad fell again Saturday but by the time we got to him he had jumped up and seemed to be fine. He was grinning which was a good sign. Last time he fell he was totally unresponsive for the rest of the day and into the evening. We think he probably had a TIA or something as a stroke was ruled out by paramedics at the time.
The kitchen remodel is due to start in a couple of weeks. Did I mention that before? Their house has no dishwasher, custom cabinets that are not very efficient, and some other cabinets where the counter top isn't even attached. The idea is to get rid of the bar area and create an island to open up the space. More efficient cabinets will be installed and the doorway into the kitchen from the family room moved and/or enlarged. The miss-matched cabinets will be gone as well. Terri can hardly wait for the dishwasher!
Dad called today. Actually, he often calls several times a day. Apparently he had tried to call Rite Aid to follow-up on a prescription. Well, there isn't one there. I explained how Mom's prescriptions were being handled by a mail service and he didn't have anything pending. "What made you think there was something to follow-up on?", I asked. "I don't know" was the response. He'll ask me to call someone because he's afraid he won't be able to track the conversation, but then he'll call the bank (or whomever) to let them know I'll be calling. He was never a micro-manager before but it gets real bad sometimes. I sometimes have to call someone to make sure we're all on the same page because he's called them and doesn't know/remember what the deal was. He's never happy that something is being handled properly and he's very skeptical of anyone's motives. It's sad and frustrating at the same time. On a funny note...Terri sometimes has to tell him that if he wants to make a phone call the remote won't work!
Monday, February 24, 2014
Paranoia is not always what you think...
Sometimes I think this blog should be titled "Life with Father" but not only was that the name of an old TV show (I think)but it would leave out issues with my mom, which can be just as trying.
I've always thought of paranoia as someone always looking over their shoulder, afraid something bad is going to happen at any moment. There are definitely more elements to it. Parkinson's takes it's toll on the brain in ways that one can't really imagine until the next episode presents it's self. We've struggled with Dad's increasing ideas that someone from his military past might make connections to unknown/unmarked objects for some time. He's never told us stories with enough detail for any of us to repeat, even in our social circles or family gatherings. But he's still afraid something will slip out somewhere.
The latest "issue" is with a book that he and Terri thought was interesting called "Say This, Don't Say That". He ordered it. He said as he looked through it, the chapter that he and Terri was interested in was good but the rest of it was pure trash. He said it was very sexual and he didn't even want to send it back. So he ripped it up and put it in a sealed envelope for me to burn. He always gives me things to burn that he doesn't trust to be put in the trash...in case someone might stumble upon it.
The envelope was a bubble wrap mailer and I don't burn plastic in the fireplace so I opened it and took the book out. Since it was not ripped crossways but only from the spine - I put it back together and read through it. It is a very good book!! There is nothing objectionable at all but I can see where he might have gotten that impression if he only skimmed words here and there. It's not a book that you would want a child to pick up and read but a lot of good information is to be had there. It even follows a lot of what he used to teach in a couple's communication class. Oh well, onward and upward...
My mother, on the other hand, is a stitch! She wasn't thrilled with Terri and the kids moving in with them but now that Terri may be going on an extended trip, she's wondering what will they ever do without her. I wonder too. I can go over there every day to check on things but hopefully not to put out any fires!!! Yes, FIRES! A couple of weeks ago Mom wanted to light one of her candles so lit the match, lit the candle, and tossed the match. She has a habit of throwing things toward a trash can or something and if it misses she just lets it be. Well, she didn't think to check the match before she chucked it and the next thing you know, one of the padded kitchen chairs is on FIRE! Yes dear hearts, I'm talking flames. She grabbed one of Dad's jumpsuits and a kitchen towel that was close by to beat out the flames. Both were ruined. Dad has a pad that sits on his chair so she used that to cover up the area. He still hasn't noticed even though there's a little bit of char to the back of the chair. I have some fabric that I've convinced her to let me use to reupholster the chairs. And she wonders why we needed someone to move in there and look after things.
Every day seems to bring something new, or at least a new way of addressing something old. We're in the process of selling a house he bought in 1956. They actually go to settlement on the 28th. Rick has Power of Attorney for both parents so he's been taking care of it. Dad called a couple of days ago worried that he couldn't get in touch with any one and thinking they were all up to no good. As it turns out, Rick had talked to them just the day before and everything is good to go and on schedule. They are taking a huge hit on the value of the house as it's in a questionable neighborhood in a suburb of Baltimore. It became problematic when they could no longer get a dependable renter. Not many want a 16 foot wide, 2 bedroom, 1 bath rowhouse. He held on to it for so long thinking maybe one of the kids or grandkids might need it to live in sometime. It may have sounded like a good idea but.......no. I saw the house maybe 30 years ago and I wouldn't have lived there even then.
On a happy note...they are remodeling the kitchen to put in a dishwasher, update the cabinets, replace the nasty floor and create a more user friendly space. Needless to say Terri is ecstatic! The demo should start in about 6 weeks.
I've always thought of paranoia as someone always looking over their shoulder, afraid something bad is going to happen at any moment. There are definitely more elements to it. Parkinson's takes it's toll on the brain in ways that one can't really imagine until the next episode presents it's self. We've struggled with Dad's increasing ideas that someone from his military past might make connections to unknown/unmarked objects for some time. He's never told us stories with enough detail for any of us to repeat, even in our social circles or family gatherings. But he's still afraid something will slip out somewhere.
The latest "issue" is with a book that he and Terri thought was interesting called "Say This, Don't Say That". He ordered it. He said as he looked through it, the chapter that he and Terri was interested in was good but the rest of it was pure trash. He said it was very sexual and he didn't even want to send it back. So he ripped it up and put it in a sealed envelope for me to burn. He always gives me things to burn that he doesn't trust to be put in the trash...in case someone might stumble upon it.
The envelope was a bubble wrap mailer and I don't burn plastic in the fireplace so I opened it and took the book out. Since it was not ripped crossways but only from the spine - I put it back together and read through it. It is a very good book!! There is nothing objectionable at all but I can see where he might have gotten that impression if he only skimmed words here and there. It's not a book that you would want a child to pick up and read but a lot of good information is to be had there. It even follows a lot of what he used to teach in a couple's communication class. Oh well, onward and upward...
My mother, on the other hand, is a stitch! She wasn't thrilled with Terri and the kids moving in with them but now that Terri may be going on an extended trip, she's wondering what will they ever do without her. I wonder too. I can go over there every day to check on things but hopefully not to put out any fires!!! Yes, FIRES! A couple of weeks ago Mom wanted to light one of her candles so lit the match, lit the candle, and tossed the match. She has a habit of throwing things toward a trash can or something and if it misses she just lets it be. Well, she didn't think to check the match before she chucked it and the next thing you know, one of the padded kitchen chairs is on FIRE! Yes dear hearts, I'm talking flames. She grabbed one of Dad's jumpsuits and a kitchen towel that was close by to beat out the flames. Both were ruined. Dad has a pad that sits on his chair so she used that to cover up the area. He still hasn't noticed even though there's a little bit of char to the back of the chair. I have some fabric that I've convinced her to let me use to reupholster the chairs. And she wonders why we needed someone to move in there and look after things.
Every day seems to bring something new, or at least a new way of addressing something old. We're in the process of selling a house he bought in 1956. They actually go to settlement on the 28th. Rick has Power of Attorney for both parents so he's been taking care of it. Dad called a couple of days ago worried that he couldn't get in touch with any one and thinking they were all up to no good. As it turns out, Rick had talked to them just the day before and everything is good to go and on schedule. They are taking a huge hit on the value of the house as it's in a questionable neighborhood in a suburb of Baltimore. It became problematic when they could no longer get a dependable renter. Not many want a 16 foot wide, 2 bedroom, 1 bath rowhouse. He held on to it for so long thinking maybe one of the kids or grandkids might need it to live in sometime. It may have sounded like a good idea but.......no. I saw the house maybe 30 years ago and I wouldn't have lived there even then.
On a happy note...they are remodeling the kitchen to put in a dishwasher, update the cabinets, replace the nasty floor and create a more user friendly space. Needless to say Terri is ecstatic! The demo should start in about 6 weeks.
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