Things were really hard today. A little backstory...I left on Thursday for a trip to Texas for my Aunt and Uncle's 50th anniversary. Was gone 5 days and during that time Terri got most all of her things moved into my parent's house. It's a mess over there but we're working on it. Consequently I spend more time there than usual trying to help them all settle in.
Yesterday Dad had a bill that I told him he needed to pay as it was for some lawn services that were completed last month. He had told me previously to work with the guy in charge of doing the work and to just let him know when there was a bill. For some reason he doesn't think the work had been done so he called the company. Then called me this morning to let me know the job had been cancelled and he was paid up. I knew this wasn't right so I called and talked to my contact. He had done the work (he had called me when he did it) and the bill was still outstanding. I had mom write a check while I was there so I could mail it on my way home.
Then, while I was talking to him, Mom and Terri about their situation, he starts talking about how if Rick has Power of Attorney to manage the sale of a house, then if he and mom are found at home alone we could all go to jail for reckless endangerment. I had to explain that the reckless endangerment only applied to us leaving them in charge of Terri's kids and that we were not going to do that. I also had to explain that the POA doesn't mean that he is mentally incapable but that he had given Rick authority to act in his name for some things. These are all things that even 5 years ago would not be an issue.
While looking through a stack of papers I said "oh look, a dollar bill". He said it was earnest money for a house he's trying to sell in Baltimore. He was dead serious. Number one, he's the seller not the buyer so he wouldn't pay earnest money. Secondly, in today's economy a dollar isn't going to cut it for anyone!
It's so hard watching an extremely intelligent mind deteriorate so badly. He does recognize the fact that Parkinson's causes a fair amount of paranoia. At one point Terri told him that she thought he was making a mountain out of a molehill that shouldn't even been there. He chuckled and agreed maybe she was right.
His physical self is deteriorating as well. If he starts leaning in one direction on the couch he just stays that way. Today he was leaning over looking through a drawer for something. I think he forgot what he was looking for and just kind of dozed off without changing position. His sense of humor, which has been a trademark of his, is all but gone. We have to be very careful what we say because nothing is taken lightly or in the humorous way it was intended.
I came away today with a new resolve to be more sympathetic toward my mom. She has always made me crazy but today I saw just how much Dad's ramblings confuse and worry her. We all sat there not knowing what on earth he was talking about. He has always been the one to take care of things, always knew exactly where anything was and could always help anyone with anything regardless of the nature of a situation.
The bottom line is...age and related issues can be problematic under the best of circumstances. My parents, Dad with Parkinson's and Mom with the effects of a stroke, are not aging in a way that I was anticipating. I fully expected to be a large part of their declining years but I didn't realize the toll it takes on the emotions dealing with the physical and emotional limitations they experience under our set of circumstances.
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